More and more people seek certainty. They want to know where they stand, and thankfully, they are beginning to understand that they alone are responsible for this certainty. The government won’t hand it to you. Your parents won’t hand it to you. Your education won’t hand it to you. Yet, that’s how we’ve been raised—trusting a system we take for granted. We don’t know exactly how it works, but because it’s been working so far, we assume it always will, right?

But post-COVID, many eyes have opened, and now come the questions. They’re often not very high-quality questions. Why did the government react this way? Why did this happen to us? Why, why, why…

Wouldn’t it be more convenient to ask yourself questions like, “How does the system we live in really work?” “What can I do to ensure my own security?” “What do I need to learn to steer my future in the right direction?” Wouldn’t that lead to much more enjoyable dinner conversations?

No matter what questions you ask, your brain seeks answers by default. The answers you get depend on your questions and your focus. Because if you focus on everything that’s missing and what you don’t have, you’re operating from a place of scarcity. Fearing there isn’t enough—money, time, energy, knowledge, self-confidence… you name it. Your brain automatically conjures up answers that highlight this lack: “I don’t have the money for that,” “I’m not good enough,” “I can’t spare the time for that.”

But if you focus on everything you already have, you’re operating from a place of gratitude. Grateful for all the knowledge you possess, the friends who can help, the internet where you can find anything… In this case, your brain more readily generates answers that assist you in your quest: “I can use the internet to find my answers.” “I can enroll in a course to expand my knowledge.” “I can tap into my network for assistance.”

I’m thrilled that you’re ‘awakening’ from a system that no longer serves you. But don’t panic. Chaos is part of change, and brilliance comes from friction. Remember that. Be aware of the questions you ask yourself and focus on everything you already have in your life. Be grateful. Breathe. Stay chill and focused. And THEN take action.

Start with yourself. Who are you? What do you want? Where are you now? Short sentences of a few words, but ridiculously difficult to answer. Once you know where you stand and where you want to go, you’re aware of the gap between the two. And you want every step you take to bring you closer to your goal. But how do you start?

Begin by mapping out how you feel about the following themes:

• How healthy do you feel?
• How confident do you feel?
• What are your thoughts on your current finances?
• How do you feel about your relationships?

Take the time to evaluate your feelings on these themes and give yourself an honest score on a scale of 1 to 10. It’s important to acknowledge that no one is perfect and there’s always room for growth and improvement. If you didn’t give yourself a 10, ask yourself why. What would you like to see differently in your health, confidence, finances, and relationships? Identify the areas where you’d like to take action.

This awareness process will allow you to work purposefully on improving these aspects of your life. Remember that change takes time and effort, but by taking small steps and positive action, you can gradually strive for higher scores in these areas.

Be patient and gentle with yourself during this process of personal growth and take pride in the steps you take to become the best version of yourself. You got this, babe!